Possibly one of the best DJ requests of all time...

Marry her and have childrem#EMDLOVESTORY

I've told this story before, but I'm going to tell it again because despite my gruff demeanor I really am a sentimental old bastard. My first residency had a booth that sat about 8 feet above the floor. There was a select group that would wad up requests and throw them up into the booth where they would land on playing records. That kind of nonsense would piss me off to no end. The plus side is that after 25 years I still get to wake up with one of the chief offenders every morning.

You get used to the odd bit of stick...mostly from stupid drunk bitches...theres a few lines i use to help defuse them though if the request is utterly balls and/or i dont have it.

1. I'll say yes i'll play it, then dont...if they come back complaining that i havent, i'll say, 'you must of been out for a smoke, or at the toilets, im not playing it again'.

2. I'll outright tell them its shit or i dont have it...they will usually start saying 'aw ur a shit dj for not having that...' at which point i just walk away and laugh

3. ive only ever resorted to this once, but its the ace up the sleeve...one evening about 3 years ago a girl wouldnt stop pestering me to play some god awful shakira track...after she came up the 6th time i asked her if she thought she could do a better job...being drunk she said 'yeah course i can, so i got her into the booth, got on the mic and said something along the lines of 'im going for a quick break, and this moaning bitch is going to take over for a while' and handed her my headphones just as the track playing ended...naturally silence occured, everyone stared at her and laughed, she started to cry and ran off...never bugged me again


and i also remember doing a top 40 evening , covering for a mate and a guy kept asking me to play bits n pieces, which is an oldskool dance track, around 140bpm...i kept saying no, the guy really started to mouth off at which point the manager actually came over to see what the issue was. the guy said 'this dj is shit, he wont play bits n pieces'...i was expecting the manager to tell me to just play it, but was surprised when he said 'if thats the shit your after mate, theres the fucking door...'

i laughed and all was good

I've told this story before, but I'm going to tell it again because despite my gruff demeanor I really am a sentimental old bastard. My first residency had a booth that sat about 8 feet above the floor. There was a select group that would wad up requests and throw them up into the booth where they would land on playing records. That kind of nonsense would piss me off to no end. The plus side is that after 25 years I still get to wake up with one of the chief offenders every morning.

You get used to the odd bit of stick...mostly from stupid drunk bitches...theres a few lines i use to help defuse them though if the request is utterly balls and/or i dont have it.

1. I'll say yes i'll play it, then dont...if they come back complaining that i havent, i'll say, 'you must of been out for a smoke, or at the toilets, im not playing it again'.

2. I'll outright tell them its shit or i dont have it...they will usually start saying 'aw ur a shit dj for not having that...' at which point i just walk away and laugh

3. ive only ever resorted to this once, but its the ace up the sleeve...one evening about 3 years ago a girl wouldnt stop pestering me to play some god awful shakira track...after she came up the 6th time i asked her if she thought she could do a better job...being drunk she said 'yeah course i can, so i got her into the booth, got on the mic and said something along the lines of 'im going for a quick break, and this moaning bitch is going to take over for a while' and handed her my headphones just as the track playing ended...naturally silence occured, everyone stared at her and laughed, she started to cry and ran off...never bugged me again


and i also remember doing a top 40 evening , covering for a mate and a guy kept asking me to play bits n pieces, which is an oldskool dance track, around 140bpm...i kept saying no, the guy really started to mouth off at which point the manager actually came over to see what the issue was. the guy said 'this dj is shit, he wont play bits n pieces'...i was expecting the manager to tell me to just play it, but was surprised when he said 'if thats the shit your after mate, theres the fucking door...'

i laughed and all was good

3. ive only ever resorted to this once, but its the ace up the sleeve...one evening about 3 years ago a girl wouldnt stop pestering me to play some god awful shakira track...after she came up the 6th time i asked her if she thought she could do a better job...being drunk she said 'yeah course i can, so i got her into the booth, got on the mic and said something along the lines of 'im going for a quick break, and this moaning bitch is going to take over for a while' and handed her my headphones just as the track playing ended...naturally silence occured, everyone stared at her and laughed, she started to cry and ran off...never bugged me again

3. ive only ever resorted to this once, but its the ace up the sleeve...one evening about 3 years ago a girl wouldnt stop pestering me to play some god awful shakira track...after she came up the 6th time i asked her if she thought she could do a better job...being drunk she said 'yeah course i can, so i got her into the booth, got on the mic and said something along the lines of 'im going for a quick break, and this moaning bitch is going to take over for a while' and handed her my headphones just as the track playing ended...naturally silence occured, everyone stared at her and laughed, she started to cry and ran off...never bugged me again


and i also remember doing a top 40 evening , covering for a mate and a guy kept asking me to play bits n pieces, which is an oldskool dance track, around 140bpm...i kept saying no, the guy really started to mouth off at which point the manager actually came over to see what the issue was. the guy said 'this dj is shit, he wont play bits n pieces'...i was expecting the manager to tell me to just play it, but was surprised when he said 'if thats the shit your after mate, theres the fucking door...'

i laughed and all was good

I hate that.
I had a girl ask me to play N**s In Paris at 9pm. 10 minutes after we had opened.
Outright said no. She accepted.
Came back at 10, asked again, said no, far too early (I will not play the original as it's too fast, I play the Stanton Warriors breaks edit).
Came back at 11, she'd found out who the bar manager was and asked him if I could play it. Once again.. I said no, and said I would play it, if the bar manager came over personally and told me to play it.
Got to half 11 and she came into the DJ box in tears crying telling me I'm horrible and the meanest DJ she's ever met. Thought f**k it, played it.. people were like meh, not interested in a track like that so early.
She came back telling me I'm amazing and she's sorry, then asked for Notorious BIG - Juicy. Kicked her out of the DJ box and said don't come back! It was a house music evening ... Silly people.