In an interview about her upcoming memoir, "Becoming," former first lady Michelle Obama opened up about a struggle many American women know all too well, but often feel they can't discuss publicly: infertility and miscarriage. However, not only does the former first lady reveal she and former President Barack Obama struggled to conceive early in their marriage, she divulges a few weeks after they finally did, they then lost their first baby to a miscarriage.
"It turns out that even two committed go-getters with a deep love and robust work ethic can't will themselves into being pregnant."
Despite being dedicated to having children, Obama writes in her new memoir that she and her husband, former President Barack Obama, had difficulty getting pregnant. And when Obama did become pregnant over two decades ago, she had a miscarriage.
As SELF wrote previously, miscarriages—and fertility issues in general—are far more common than most people realize. It's estimated that between 10 and 25 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. And, depending on the underlying reason for the miscarriage, it's not uncommon for people to end up needing some sort of reproductive assistance down the line.
But, having one miscarriage doesn't make you more likely to have another one. And even if you do end up going through IVF, that's not a guarantee that you'll never have children without it.
Michelle Obama is far from alone. In the past several months, there has been an outpouring of celebrities taking to social media and television interviews with details of their most personal family struggles. In September, "Dawson's Creek" star James Van Der Beek penned an emotional Instagram post about his wife's three miscarriages. And days before, country superstar Carrie Underwoodrevealed through tears on "CBS Sunday Morning" she, too, lost three babies before finding joy again.
Still, this morning's revelation stood out because, for many Americans, former first lady Michelle Obama is a source of inspiration and a paragon of physical strength. So, if she felt broken, if she felt like she failed, if she felt as if her body didn't work, then, hopefully, by speaking out she can be a beacon for countless other women across the country who have silently felt the same.
"I felt like I failed, because I didn't know how common miscarriages were because we don't talk about them,” Obama, 54, told Roberts of the incident that happened about two decades ago. “We sit in our own pain, thinking that somehow we’re broken. So, that's one of the reasons why I think it's important to talk to young mothers about the fact that miscarriages happen, and the biological clock is real."